Her Sleepless Heart
by Samhainix
Summary: Yaz has some trouble sleeping, deciding do something about it, she sets off into the TARDIS hallways looking for something that might help. On her travels she finds the Doctor. Can she let her alien friend in on what is keeping her awake? Can she tell her how she truly feels about her?


Yasmin Khan couldn't sleep, her mind was ticking over the events of the incredible adventure she had just shared with her friends. With the Doctor. Yaz was also constantly afraid that she was going to do something stupid and get kicked off the ship.

When she was at home, Yaz dealt with insomnia and anxiety all the time, she'd worry about bills, about the state of the world, all the hate and fear in it. When Yaz felt that worry that kept her awake she'd usually go to the kitchen, get some warm milk and read a chapter of whatever book she happened to be reading at the time. On the TARDIS though, she had no book, she forgot to pack any. Though Yaz did remember the Doctor telling them that there was a kitchen nearby their rooms, maybe she could get some milk there. Though knowing the Doctor, it would probably be Martian milk from the 31st century. Deciding to take that risk, Yaz threw off her duvet and left her room.

Making her way down the hallway, Yaz heard Graham talking in his sleep, he had warned them that he could do that but it was funny actually hearing him. From the sound of it he was dreaming about hosting some sort of game show.

Turning a corner, Yaz found a set of green double doors on her right. She doubted that a kitchen lay behind them but she was on board a bigger on the inside space/time ship so anything was possible. Pulling open a door, Yaz found herself looking out on a massive swimming pool with a few inflatable toys and even a surfboard just left floating in its waters. She fought the urge to walk along the poolside and put her feet up on one of the nearby sunbeds.

Yaz needed to get her milk and get back to bed as soon as possible, she didn't want to be falling asleep during tomorrow's adventure and becoming lunch for some kind of extraterrestrial Dragon.

Closing the door behind her, Yaz made her way down a corridor, she passed a small room with a wooden finish and small stained glass windows. She passed two spectacular gardens that somehow had sunlight and even a little breeze. She briefly looked in on an enormous art gallery with an amazing replica of the Mona Lisa hanging from a wall.

After several more rooms of incredible ridiculousness, Yaz considered giving up before noticing that a door up ahead was ajar. She could just about make out the contents of the room and felt herself picking up her pace before pushing the door fully open. Yaz stepped inside a library that was so vast it must've went on for miles, with shelves of books as far as the eye could see. It was no kitchen but at least Yaz could get a book that might help her get to sleep.

Yaz scanned a nearby shelf, trying to find something that she might like but she was quickly distracted by a magical melody nearby. It was entirely alien to her and was being hummed by a very familiar voice. Following it, Yaz found the Doctor sitting up a nearby staircase, reading, her legs flapping excitedly over the edge of one steep step. She looked so beautiful and was consumed in her own little world of imagination.

"Room for one more?" Yaz asked

The Doctor looked up, her eyes full of joy and wonder.

"Yaz! I thought you were sleeping" she beamed

"Too excited, traveling on a spaceship, traveling through time, still not used to it" Yaz told half the truth

"That excitement never leaves" The Doctor smiled "I've been doing this for such a long time and I'm still always giddy"

The way the Doctor said the word giddy was so cute, Yaz couldn't help but smile back.

"So what are you reading?" Yaz asked, in an attempt to appear like she wasn't falling into the Doctor's green eyes every time she made eye contact

The Doctor's cheeks flushed, Yaz had never seen that before, was she embarrassed? Silently the blonde alien showed Yaz the cover of the book. It was purple with some strange glittery symbol on it.

"Oh wow" Yaz feigned a mixture of shock and surprise, pretending to know what the book was

"I know, I just read it to help me get to sleep"

"I didn't think you needed sleep" Yaz admitted

"Aliens need sleep too" the Doctor teased "I don't really need a lot of it, about half an hour or so every two weeks but the thing about time travel is, well it makes it hard to keep track of time"

"When was the last time you fell asleep?"

"Back when we got rescued by the Tsuranga, I think"

"That was over a month ago and it doesn't count, you literally passed out"

"Tomayto, tomahto" the Doctor smirked

"Now I feel like my problem isn't as big"

The Doctor's eyes widened.

"There's something else, isn't there? it's not just excitement that's keeping you awake"

Yaz felt sick, she didn't normally like talking about it but the Doctor felt so inviting, Yaz trusted her with her life.

"I have anxiety"

"About what?" asked the Doctor

"All sorts but one thing I've worried about since I came on board is" Yaz paused, this was so embarrassing "Is that you'd kick me off the TARDIS"

"Why would I do that?" the Doctor said, her voice and face equal parts confused and concerned

"Trust me, I'll do something to mess this up"

The Doctor took Yaz's hand, gently tugging her to sit down beside her.

"Yaz, you're cool, funny and kind, I would never kick you off the TARDIS"

Yaz felt her heart rise, she had no idea what to say but that reassurance meant the world to her.

"You will leave at some point" the Doctor continued "but it'll be because you start another adventure or find someone who makes you really happy or both"

"I'm already on an adventure with someone who makes me really happy" Yaz couldn't resist saying

An awkward silence washed over the two and Yaz's worst fear had come to life, she had just messed up their friendship and was probably going to get left off back home, never to see the Doctor or TARDIS again.

"Does Graham know?" the Doctor asked

Yaz immediately felt like bursting out laughing but was also just a smidge insulted that the Doctor thought that she would fancy Graham, not that he wasn't sweet but he reminded her of her grandad. Yaz briefly considered letting it go, letting the Doctor get the wrong end of the stick but Yaz knew her feelings wouldn't go away so easily.

"I'm not talking about Graham" Yaz admitted, feeling brave

"Ah! you and Ryan would make a lovely couple"

Yaz squeezed the Doctor's hand softly and shook her head.

"Oh"

Yaz felt a lump in her throat, she felt like she was going to cry, the Doctor probably didn't like her in that way but at least it was out there instead of being trapped inside her.

The Doctor traced her thumb over the back of Yaz's hand, caressing it softly in circles.

"I'm glad to be on an adventure with someone who makes me really happy too"

"Graham?" Yaz joked as her alien maybe-more-than-friend chuckled and put an arm around her

The Doctor was so warm and really easy to snuggle up to, within seconds, Yaz felt safe and cozy.

"So what were you reading?" Yaz asked

The Doctor held up the book once again, to Yaz the cover was just as odd and lacking in information as before.

"Oh, must've left the filter cover on" the Doctor said, swiping the cover away with a flick of her finger. The cover of the book was instantly replaced with a picture of two women walking hand in hand on it, the title of the book was "the Third Street" by Joan Ellis.

Yaz had heard of this book, it was a piece of gay history, a romantic pulp story but one that scarcely existed in the time she came from. The few copies that were still around were in terrible condition but this one looked brand new.

"Where did you get that?" Yaz asked

The Doctor simply smiled and showed Yaz the first page, it had been signed.

"Dear Doctor, thank you for helping out with the Booie monster - Joan"

"Booie monster?" Yaz raised an eyebrow

"Really big snake with seven tiny legs, he lives in Australia, really good dancer"

Yaz giggled, she could never tell if the Doctor was having her on.

The Doctor read a chapter of the love story, her voice delivering every sentence gently and beautifully and before Yaz knew it, her eyes had become so heavy, she felt like resting them for a moment.

Yaz's eyes flickered open, just enough to see the Doctor sleeping peacefully on her shoulder, tiny snores coming from the adorable alien. Yaz smiled and cuddled up to her, falling asleep once again.


End file.
